Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Hurtful Ignorance...

I read a lot about Autism.  Before Trey was diagnosed, I knew very little about what it really was.  Now learning all I can from books and websites consumes me.  I want to learn everything I can to help my son and maybe one day help others.  I have learned the most about Autism directly from it's closest source... the parents of Autistic children.

I subscribe to their blogs and  Facebook pages. I interact with their posts on websites such as MyAutismTeam.  There is a wonderful network of amazing parents out there who are eager to share all the ups and downs of what they have been through or are going through.  Reading their blogs gives you hope, makes you laugh, and teaches you  so much...but most of all reaching out to them gives you the comfort that whatever your struggle is with your Autistic child, you are NOT ALONE!

But this week I learned something I didn't want to.

I learned that there are a lot of ignorant people in this world.. and instead of educating themselves on a subject, they use their words to express what they feel to be fact.. but it is actually quite the opposite.  It is very hurtful.  

Fortunately, I haven't had to experience this hurtful ignorance first hand...but when I read the following post from a mom in Canada, it made my heart hurt:
I have come to realize something horrible.
As I always to, I post Autism awareness images on my Facebook page. Simple ones like "I need acceptance, not a cure". Well I was not ever expecting anyone to reply to any of them or post comments, I simply post them to help raise awareness. Well my brother in law I guess decided to open his mouth and write down his options, how ever harsh they are.
He posted that he doesn't believe in Autism, he believes that its the parents fault. He said that it was my husband and I "excuse" for bad parenting. he accused me of not loving my son, of not caring about him and not teaching him everything I can. I have heard these comments from strangers on the street or in stores more then once, but this coming from a supposed family member hurt so much.
I dont even know what to think or say or what. Someone that is suppose to love me actually believes that I am a bad mother.
I am so angry and hurt.
I do everything for my son, I am taking classes to help me learn to teach him, to help him communicate with me and me with him. I am doing all the research I can, I am doing everything I can to make and keep him happy, healthy. I show him so much love that I am surprised he is not sick of the words "I love you" lol. I snuggle him when he wants/needs, I sing to him, I play with him at the park.
I honestly dont know what else I can do to both help my son and to make him happy. He means the world to me. As I call him he is my "super hero".
I am just completely hurt I actually feel like heart is being crushed. Not for who said it but that someone would actually accuses me of being a bad or careless mother.
Have any of you had this issue arise within your family or close friends?

I just can't believe there are people out there that actually think like this man...because I'm sure he is not the only one!!  Of course in the true caring style of the parent's she reached out to for help, she was embraced by dozens.  They posted words of encouragement and shared their own experiences and stories.

 I sent her a comment telling her to keep posting those images on her Facebook page...because it's ignorant people like him that prove the importance of Autism awareness!


  1. Well said and needed to be said. The ugly side of Autism isn't the actual Autism, it is the people who are blind to the amazing capabilities and challenges our children have. Thank you taking on this topic.

  2. I am just appalled that some people take a view like that. I only hope that the other family members stepped in to put him in his place.

  3. proud of you for saying this a lot do not understand nor do they want to try and understand. YOU keep being strong and learning. I have been there and still today after 3 years am still learning about it and trying to raise awareness.